Another week, another round of awful sports mishaps. See all the worst plays of the week in sparkling animated form right here.
As Week 2 of the NFL is in the books and baseball heads toward Week 9 Million or whatever, things are heating up in both sports. Heating up in terms of badness, that is.
Baseball teams have begun phoning it in and/or going up in flames. Football teams are dashing the few shreds of their fans' early-season hopes against the rocks of despair. All in all, it's a great time to be alive and laugh at professional athletes.
Given that there are a lot of GIFs and alternate views here, we've only embedded the most vital images. There are lovely red links sprinkled throughout so you can view bonus GIFs a-plenty at your leisure, without forsaking bandwidth. Or whatever those delicious Internet juices are called.
Here are the very worst plays from September 10-17.
Worst Pitch (Location)
Pitcher: Joel Hanrahan
Date: September 15
Pitch Location: 45.63 inches from center of plate
At first glance, that pitch doesn't look too bad, right? It was. It really was.
That's Rod Barajas wearing that pitch in the neck. See how this GIF shows a solid three feet of dirt in front of the plate? The ball has already bounced and is on its way back up as it enters the frame. Then it becomes a neck-seeking missile. (By the way, let's hope that neck-seeking technology doesn't actually exist yet.)
Yeeeeeesh. Way to go, Joel Hanrahan. By the way, this was a save situation for Hanrahan in the bottom of the ninth. He got that save, but entered the game when it was 7-4 and recorded the final out when it was 7-6. Has anyone heard about the Pittsburgh Pirates and their horrible collapse? This bounced pitch to the throat of Rod Barajas was nearly the best thing that happened to them this week.
Honorable Mention: Jonny Venters, September 12. 50.18 inches from center of plate.
(Click here to view.) (Click here to view a more hilarious, slow-mo angle.)
I really love that in that second angle, the Brewers batter, Eric Farris, just stands there at the end, not even caring to motion to the baserunner or anything. Just waiting for the ballyhoo to die down so he can get back to business. Eric Farris is a baseball player you've never heard of and he doesn't care for the ha-has.
Honorable Mention: Tyler Thornburg, September 14. 52.75 inches from center of plate.
The Mets announcers took particular delight in this one, as they immediately went to "Ju-uussst a bit high! Like that thing Bob Uecker says!" Then they cut to a shot of Bob Uecker in the Brewers booth and spent the next couple of minutes being like, "Hey, there he is! They've got his number retired here! Oh, I guess that's just celebrating 50 years of him broadcasting. But still! Bob Uecker!"
Worst Pitch (Result)
Pitcher: Clayton Richard
Batter: Matt Carpenter
Date: September 12
Result: 113.7 mph home run (speed off bat)
Matt Carpenter doesn't look like a guy who would annihilate a baseball like that, but remember that baseball is super weird.
Worst Swing
Batter: A.J. Burnett
Pitcher: Homer Bailey
Date: September 12
Yes, A.J. Burnett is a pitcher, but he's also a professional baseball player. When you take a swing at a baseball, you shouldn't fall over onto your bottom, causing the home plate umpire to grab you and check on your well-being. Also please note that this GIF is not in slow motion.
Honorable Mention: Josh Reddick, September 11 against Scott Downs.
Worst Defensive Play
Team: Houston Astros
Date: September 13
It just wouldn't be a Week in Worst without the Astros, would it? Here we have a player running right past a base hit and failing to get it in his glove, then throwing the ball into the back of a Phillies player. Bonus points for the second-base umpire skipping over the baseball as it careens back toward center field. Sing some Ini Kamoze in your head during that part; highly recommended. Here's an alternate angle of this Astros-ness.
Honorable Mention: Oakland Athletics, September 11.
(Click here to view.) (Click here to view alternate angle.) (Click here for hilarious slow-mo.)
Stephen Drew and Brandon Moss haven't been teammates very long, but there's still no excuse for fielding a ball like this. Or rather, flinching from a ball like this, spinning out of the way and having Albert Pujols shoulder-block you onto your butt. How does this even happen?
Worst Kick
Team: New England Patriots
Date: September 16
This is how the Patriots lost a game to the Arizona Cardinals. Like, a for-real football game that counts and everything. That pretty much deserves a worst, I should think.
Worst Touchdown Celebration
Player: Cam Newton
Date: September 16
Cam Newton scored a touchdown and did his "Clark Kent" thing, then realized he wanted the football, to do something else with. He saw the ref with the football and was like GIMME THAT FOOTBALL UMP and the ref was like, "What? No. There's more football later. We need this. Get your own, a-hole." Cam Newton doesn't care, though. He's doing his own thing.
Honorable Mention: Jacoby Jones, September 16.
I ... sure, okay, Jacoby. Whatever.
Worst Penalty
Team: Washington Redskins
Date: September 16
Josh Morgan was probably not aware that throwing a football at a guy's head will get you a penalty. That's probably the explanation. Because if he knew that, he wouldn't have done this and given the Redskins a penalty that cost Washington a chance to win the game, right?
Yeah he probably didn't know. Just gonna keep believing in ignorance over stupidity. For the record, I fully expected the first "Worst Penalty" to go to the Raiders. Football will always surprise you.
Worst Pass
Player: Michael Vick
Date: September 16
In fairness, this was an AWESOME pass as far as the Baltimore Ravens were concerned. Right at that guy! Right in the numbers! Pow!
Oh, Michael.
